December 23, 2013
Two years ago on this day, my life changed forever. I know all Moms say that their lives change when they make that step over into motherhood, but it couldn’t be more true for me. I mean, literally everything is different.
My job is different. When I first had Logan, I was still teaching but quit when he was 6 months old to stay at home with him. Since then, Chris and I started up our own business and it has been growing so fast! Never did I think that I would own my own business. Who knew that I would get to work AND be a stay at home mom. It’s seriously the best of both worlds and I’m so grateful.
Our house is different. There are now toys scattered about most of the time. Tiny potty chairs, tiny clothes, diapers, sippy cups… all of your typical kid paraphernalia. My material possessions that were once so important to me don’t even really matter anymore. Most of my stuff has been adversely affected by curious toddler hands… the cracked iPad, the couch with food crumbs all over it, the walls that now resemble cave drawings from my tiny caveman with his markers. Now they are just possessions and are completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
Our relationship is different.. in a good way. Chris and I communicate better now. We work as a team. We are definitely more in love with one another. I know I love him more now than I have ever before. Watching him with our boys makes my heart swell. Just thinking about how amazing of a Daddy he is makes me get all misty eyed. The admiration, love, and respect that I see reflected in his eyes, that I know he holds for me… swoon.
I am different.
Physically. My body is softer and saggier in certain places, though I’m thinner now because I actually eat well and take care of myself. Now, I don’t obsess over my body and the way it looks. I am finally happy with it. I’ve seen how powerful it can be… the amazing things it can do. I think I’ll keep it.
I am different mentally. My patience has grown. I thought I had patience before I had kids. I worked with them for years. I thought I had the patience of a saint. Then I had a baby who wouldn’t sleep more than 1.5-2 hours at a time for just about the first year of his life.
I am different emotionally. My heart has grown exponentially. I have turned into that sappy woman who looks at her kids and breaks down into tears. I am now that mom that talks about her kids all the time. I am that mom who doesn’t want to be away from her kids. I miss them when they aren’t with me. My heart aches and I feel physically ill when I am away from them for too long. Never did I think that would be me.
I feel like I am a better person now. Logan changed me and he and Atticus continue to change me. I’m more empathic. More sensitive. More respectful of tiny people and their big emotions. Thank you, boys, for helping to mold your Momma into a better person.
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