Pregnancy the second time around was so much different than the first. Logan had just turned a year old in December when Chris and I decided to start trying for another kiddo. We were thinking it would take us a while, like it did with Logan. It took over a year to get pregnant with him! I seriously thought that Logan would be closer to a year and a half or even 2 when I would get pregnant again. Boy was I wrong. I had read a book in the Fall (right before Logan turned a year) called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I initially read it to avoid pregnancy. It teaches you how to read your body’s signs to determine when you are ovulating… to either prevent a pregnancy or to get pregnant. We officially switched gears and started trying in January. I took my first pregnancy test on January 30th and got a very, very faint line. It was so faint that I didn’t believe it. I continued taking tests over the next few days and watched the line get darker and darker:
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Holy crap. It worked. Fast!! I was in disbelief. Here’s a journal entry that I wrote to “Baby Squish” the day I finally let myself believe that I was pregnant:
Week 3 Day 4 (1.31.2013)
Dear Squish,
I peed on a stick this morning. Actually I peed on one yesterday morning, too. I got a faint line yesterday, but convinced myself that it was an evaporation line. I spent the day obsessing over it and looking at photos of pee sticks online. This morning, I covertly peed on a stick while your Daddy was in the shower and big brother was watching Baby Einstein in his crib. I sat in the bathroom until the timer on my phone went off. I could see a faint line again, but this time it was a little darker. I took a picture of it with my phone to inspect later.
Big brother and I dropped your Daddy off at work and headed for the nearest Walgreen’s. The sticks I had been peeing on were some internet cheapies that are apparently not as sensitive as some that you can buy at the store. I even spent the extra money for the name brand.
When Logue and I got home he went back in the crib for some more TV time…. I know, mother of the year. I had to take a shower and pee on a stick and he can’t be trusted out and about by himself yet. I peed and waited and played on facebook while waiting for the timer to go off. I had mentally prepared myself that it was going to be negative. When the timer beeped and it was positive I nearly fainted. I took my shower and spent the whole time crying and yelling ‘holy shit I can’t believe it’. Here I am 3 hours later and I still can’t believe it.
I am going to try to keep it a secret until your Daddy’s birthday next week. It’s his 30th and I think knowing that he has another little one to look forward to will be the best birthday present I could ever give him. Hopefully it will have sunk in a little bit by then.
I love you so much already and I’m so excited to meet you. As of this moment, your estimated due date is October 13th 2013.
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Here’s a picture of that Walgreen’s pregnancy test that I took that morning. There was no denying it.
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So, I had this wonderful plan to wait and tell Chris on his 30th birthday, which was a week away from when I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, I was unable to keep the secret. Here’s another journal entry that I wrote to Squish on the day I told Chris:
Week 3 Day 5 (2.1.2013)
Dear Squish,
I caved. I am absolutely no good at keeping secrets. Especially when they are as big as a new baby for our family.
We were on our way home from picking your Daddy up from work. Logue and I had had a rough day. Daddy offered to take Mommy to get her a margarita and Mexican food to make her feel better. Uh-oh. How am I supposed to hide it now?
Luckily, I was able to get it on video. We sat down at El Chico (where me and Daddy met 10 years ago). When the waiter came to take our order, I ordered a virgin margarita. I was very implicit that it was to be a virgin. Your Daddy just looked at me like I was crazy. I then handed him the pee stick from the day before. He was in shock. And excited! We celebrated by feasting on chips, salsa, and fajitas. And I discovered that virgin margaritas are pretty disgusting. Here’s a crappy video that I took of the big reveal:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2A_8F0GFXw&w=560&h=315]
Logan didn’t look too happy about being a big brother. 😉
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Over the next few weeks, we told our close friends and family. Here are the journal entries that I wrote to Squish:
Week 3 Day 6 (2.2.2013)
Dear Squish,
Today we told your Nana and Pop Pop. We went out to eat and Logue wore a shirt that says ‘Big Bro’. We were waiting for our table when Nana commented on how cute you looked in your new shirt. It didn’t sink in immediately. She read it out loud a couple of times and finally Pop Pop figured it out. They are very excited about you, too. We celebrated by eating Hibachi!
Week 4 Day 6 (2.9.2013)
Dear Squish,
Your Dada turned 30 yesterday! We celebrated with our very best friends at a steakhouse and then went out for drinks afterwards. Well, I didn’t drink, obviously. We spilled the beans about you at dinner. I picked up a tiny piece of caviar and announced to the table that my baby was this big. I’m pretty sure that was accurate, too. You are still so incredibly tiny. It’s crazy to look at your brother and think that he was once that tiny. And to think that you will one day be as big as he is.
Week 5 (2.10.2013)
Dear Squish,
Today we told your Gramps and Gram. They had invited us over to celebrate your Dad’s birthday. We put Logan is his big brother shirt. They noticed it as soon as his jacket came off. Your Gram said, “Big Bro? You have something to tell us?” When I said yes, she started screaming, which in turn made your brother cry. They are also very excited. We celebrated with some delicious ribs and sausage that your Gramps cooked. Can you see a pattern, yet? We like to eat around here. ☺
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As soon as we found out we were pregnant we started planning the birth. As happy as I was with Logan’s birth, I knew that I wanted to do things differently this time around. I immediately started contacting doulas and birth photographers and we started the interview process. We initially set out wanting to do a home birth this time around, but it was going to be significantly more expensive, so we decided to stick with the birth center. I wrote a few journals to the baby about the process:
Week 6 (2.17.2013)
Dear Squish,
Today we met with a doula. Dada and I have decided that we are going to do a few things differently this time around. One of those is having a doula. We are so excited to start planning for your birth and the first moment we get to look at your sweet little face.
This week you are the size of a small pea and weigh less than .04 oz. Your tiny heart is starting to pump blood and your little facial features are starting to develop.
Week 7 (2.24.2013)
Dear Squish,
Morning sickness has really started to kick in this week. A long with nausea, I have been feeling very tired and having some intense food aversions. Things are definitely different this time around. I’m having all day sickness that gets worst at night. And the thought of BBQ makes me gag… especially sausage. My first trimester with Logan was not this hard and I’m so thankful that I’m not working this time around. Since everything has been so different, people are starting to say that you must be a girl. I don’t have a feeling either way yet. We will have to wait and see!
This week you are the size of a blueberry and still weigh less than .04 oz. Your little arms, leg, hands, and feet are beginning to bud.
Week 8 (3.3.2013)
Dear Squish,
I feel like a horrible mother. I have been so sick, your brother has been stuck in front of the TV or left to fend for himself while I lay on the couch. We haven’t even left the house during the week because car rides make me feel even more sick. Just four more weeks until the first trimester is over. I’m hoping that I start to feel better.
This week you are the size of a raspberry and weigh .04 oz. You are working on growing your ears, eyelids, fingers and toes. I can’t wait to kiss each of those little toes. Baby feet are my favorite!
Week 9 (3.10.2013)
Dear Squish,
This week we met with a birth photographer. There are so many amazingly talented birth photographers in the DFW area it is going to be so hard to choose. My absolute favorite birth photog is out of our price range, unfortunately, but we have found someone whose style we both like. Strangely enough, the photographer is a guy. It’s a little strange for me to think of having a dude in the room, but he’s a father of 5 so it’s nothing that he hasn’t seen before.
My morning sickness is still in high gear and I’m counting down the weeks until the second trimester.
This week you are the size of a green olive and weigh .07 oz. Your embryonic tail disappears this week, too!
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I didn’t start taking belly photos until I was 10 weeks. I don’t know why. I just didn’t think about it, I guess. Or maybe it’s because I was so focused on how sick I was. I really didn’t think I was going to make it through the first trimester! I also only wrote the journals to the baby until I was 13 weeks. Lame, I know. Looking back at them I really wish that I would have continued.
Week 10 (3.17.2013)
Dear Squish,
Momma had a very rough week. We’re just going to leave it at that.
Despite how rough things have been this time around, I’m still so very excited to meet you and love you so much already! I just keep telling myself that all of the illness and crazy hormones are going to totally be worth it when I see your sweet little face.
This week you are the size of a prune and weigh .14 oz. You are growing tiny finger and toe nails. Your organs have pretty much developed and are starting to function.
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Week 11 (3.25.2013)
Dear Squish,
This week we had our first appointment at the birth center. It was great to be back there and see all of the familiar faces… and even a few new ones! Our appointment went really well. I made it through the blood draw (I HATE needles) and the physical exam. We were able to hear your little heart beating. Our midwife wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to find it because it’s still a little early, but she searched for a good five minutes and found you! That moment when you are listening so intently to the static coming from the doppler and all of a sudden hear the little pitter patter of a heart… indescribable.
I am happy to report that my morning sickness seems to be dying down. I’m not getting as nauseous during the day… only at night. And I seem to be getting some energy back. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!
This week you are the size of a lime and weight a quarter of an ounce. You are now developed enough to be called a fetus and from here on out your growth will speed up.
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Week 12 (4.5.2013)
Dear Squish,
I think I feel you moving! It has only happened a couple of times but I’m pretty sure it was you, versus gas bubbles. Once was at night when I was laying really still in bed and another was when I was sitting on the couch. I didn’t feel your brother until 15 weeks, but I’m almost positive that I am feeling you now. At first I thought it was impossible until I asked my October Moms Group if anyone else is feeling baby and several of the moms who have been pregnant before have felt theirs this early. So, if I am crazy… I’m not alone! 🙂
This week I took care of a 3 month old for a friend and your brother helped me. It was his first close up encounter with a baby. I’m trying to get him used to being gentle. I think he did a great job:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1SfZ7I8LWU&w=420&h=315]
Also this week, you are the size of a plum and weigh half an ounce. Your digestive system is starting to practice contraction movements for all those cute little doodies that you will make!
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Week 13 (4.7.2013)
Dear Squish,
Ok, I know for a fact that I can feel you moving! I have felt you several times this week. I am now feeling little kicks instead of the little flutters I felt last week. It’s SO incredibly exciting! I think I’ve even felt you curl yourself into a little ball. I’ve started feeling better too. I think we might be finished with the morning sickness (FINALLY!!).
This week you are the size of a peach and the size of your body is starting to catch up with the size of your head– you are starting to look more like a baby and not so much like a little alien.
Also, I think that maybe I’m starting to show a little bit:
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14 weeks:
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16 weeks:
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16 weeks and having strange cravings… here’s one of them. Bacon+Brownie Brittle+a giant glass of milk:
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19 weeks:
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20 weeks:
This week we had our 20 week appt at the birth center. We met with the midwife before we went to have our 20 week sono done. At the appt, we had the midwife guess what she thought the sex of the baby is since we would be finding out during the sono. She guessed boy… and she was right! We were completely shocked. We seriously thought that we were having a girl… purely based on the fact that this pregnancy had been so different than the first one. The sono tech assured us that we were most definitely having a boy. <3
During our sono we also found out that I had a partial placenta previa. That means that my placenta was partially covering my cervix. I immediately started freaking out because placenta previa= automatic c-section. Granted, I was only 20 weeks along and had plenty of time for the placenta to move, but it was still scary for me to think about. Needless to say, I had a little bit of a break down. We all know how I feel about hospitals and surgery. 🙁
We celebrated my 30th birthday this week, too. It was hard for me to focus on anything other than the bad news that we had received, but I tried. My family came and took me out to dinner. I got this beautiful dessert:
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Chris also took me out for a nice dinner for my birthday. We went to the steakhouse that Lauren worked at. It was delicious, as usual.
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24 weeks:
This week we went back to the birth center for a check up and another sono to check the position of the placenta. I went armed with a list of questions that had come up during the LONG four weeks we had to wait. Luckily, the list was pointless. The sono showed that the placenta had moved and was 2.78cm away from the cervix– it had to be at least 2 cm away from the cervix to be able to have an out of hospital birth. Hooray!
We found out that the birth assistant from Logan’s birth (Patty) is now working on getting her midwifery certification and is a student of the birth center’s. This was SO exciting for us because we love Patty. We decided to have Patty handle all of our care and deliver this baby… with the guidance of the other midwives.
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Logan and I checked out some books at the library about becoming a big brother. We are working really hard to get him ready for our new addition. He’s still so young, I don’t think he really understands what is going on.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgdWg2qErdc&w=420&h=315]
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30 weeks:
We had another check up at the birth center. We found out today that our little guy is breech, meaning that his head is not down like it should be. It isn’t too much of a concern at this point because there is still time for him to turn, but I’m definitely worried cause that’s how I roll.
Here’s a photo from one of our weekend photo sessions. This month was the busiest that our little photography business has been. We had multiple shoots each weekend. Needless to say, I was pooped when August was over.
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33 weeks:
We had another check up at the birth center last week and this guy is still breech. I have a list of exercises that I’ve been doing to try to encourage him to turn as well as seeing the chiropractor regularly. We’ve also started talking about what we are going to do if he’s still breech at 40 weeks. Luckily, we have a wonderful doula who is helping us explore our options.
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Stripping tiny diapers and getting them ready for the new guy!!
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34 weeks:
This week I had the most beautiful Blessingway thrown for me by my amazing friends Hima and Megan. It was so nice to sit around with my closest friends and family members and spend time together and talk about the up coming birth. With so much fear and anxiety surrounding this birth, it was nice to hear some positive words and give me some time to refocus. Hima’s parents hired a Mehndi artist to come to the house and do Mehndi for me and the guests. I love how mine turned out!
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A few days after the Blessingway we had another check up at the birth center and guess what… we found out that this baby was no longer breech! Hooray!! I’m pretty sure I felt him turn. I woke up in the middle of the night the night before the appointment and felt lots of strange movement and pressure. Then when I woke up in the morning, my belly felt like it was shaped differently. When Betty did the belly exam and told me that the baby was no longer breech, I could have kissed her! Seriously… SO much stress lifted from my shoulders in that moment.
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35 weeks:
It’s rough being a toddler. We’ve had a lot of days like this lately.
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36 weeks:
In true Drama Baby fashion, we wound up in the hospital this week. The morning of my (now weekly) check up, I was having severe pains in the top of my belly/under my ribs. We went in for the appointment and our midwife was concerned about a possible placental abruption. She sent us over to the hospital to get monitored and have a sono. Luckily, everything wound up being okay, but it was still a scary experience. I was placed on couch rest for the remainder of the week. I was having consistent contractions and was worried about the possibility of going into labor early… which is hilarious when you look at how things actually turned out. They think that Baby Squish bruised a rib or maybe knocked a rib out of place. That would make sense because he’s been an active little guy.
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We got Logan a doll so he would have his own baby to take care of after Baby Squish gets here. We were practicing changing diapers in the first photo. Then I asked Logan to nurse the baby… and he tried to put the doll’s nipple in his mouth. Ha!
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37 weeks:
As we got closer to the due date, I got a little more crazy. I had just about convinced myself that he was going to make his appearance early. Everything else in this pregnancy had been the opposite of my first one so why shouldn’t he come early? His brother was late… so it just made sense to me. Plus, I had been having contractions for a while. I was refusing checks at my weekly appointments, though so I had no idea if the contractions were doing anything to my cervix.
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Waiting at the birth center for one of my appointments. I carry a journal with me during my pregnancies and document everything that happens at each appointment. I love this journal… the outside of it says, “Think of the world you carry within you.” So perfect. <3
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38 weeks:
This week we took Logan to the zoo. It was so much fun spending some quality time with my little guy before our new guy gets here. I was hoping that all of the waking might help get something started, but that didn’t happen.
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39 weeks:
We spent this week getting ready for the birth. I’d been slowly working on my to do list, but I really started to tackle the things on it this week.
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40 weeks:
Chris and I went out to dinner to celebrate making it to our due date. My sister watched Logan for us so it was a nice relaxing meal. I even had a glass of wine!
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Once we hit our due date I started freaking out about the possibility of this pregnancy going longer than 42 weeks. The birth center usually transfers care at 42 weeks… to their doctors for a hospital birth. And we know how I feel about that. Our plan this time around was to let my body go into labor on its own. With Logan we did a non-medical induction, and while I know that it wouldn’t have worked if my body wasn’t ready, it is not an experience that I care to repeat. I was still refusing to get checked at this point. I didn’t care if I was dilating or effacing because I didn’t feel like it meant anything. With Logan I started dilating several weeks before he was born… and we still had to encourage him to make his appearance. It was really hard for me to stay positive and trust that my body would do what it needed to do. To help take my mind off of the waiting game, I started taking silly belly photos everyday and posting them on Facebook. I stole this idea from my doula’s BFF. You can see those photos compiled on our blog here:
https://thegrowingtreeblog.com/2013/10/28/the-belly/
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41 weeks:
At our 41 week appointment, Patty wanted us to go get a Biophysical Profile and a non-stress test to make sure that baby was still doing okay. A BPP is basically just a longer sono. We got a few pictures from it… and yes, I had them verify that we were really having a boy. My family thought that we were lying to them this whole time. I’m pretty sure that they didn’t believe me until he was born and they saw that he does indeed have a penis. At my appointment, I finally decided to let Patty check me to see if anything was going on with the old cervix. I was dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced. And baby was at -1 station. This was super exciting and reassuring for me that my body was actually making progress and the contractions that I’d been having for weeks were actually doing something. When I got home from my BPP the nesting kicked into high gear. I cleaned the entire house, started packing bags, and even gave Logan a bath and trimmed his nails.
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10/21/2013–Here is the last belly shot taken. Baby Squish was born a couple of hours later. Check out the birth story for all of the details! <3
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