Well, I did it. I am officially prepared for our kindergarten year to start. I’ve ordered and received all of our curriculum, gone to the library and gotten additional books, bought supplies, made a schedule, made detailed lesson plans for the first couple of weeks and mapped out lessons and themes for the entire school year. I am one organized fool.
And I am SO struggling with it.
You see, dear reader friend, I am a Gemini… through and through. I am two personalities wrapped into one hot mess of a body. One personality is very type A and wants schedules and plans and organization and structure. And to rule with an iron fist…. from the iron throne, haha. 😉 We will do math at 8. Reading at 9. Writing at 10. You get the drift…
The other is way more relaxed. Go with the flow. Peace. Love. Hippy vibes. Whatever man… just throw some essential oils on it. Let’s meditate and do some yoga. Snuggle up and read. Play with our friends. It will all be fine!
And I am driving myself crazzyyyyyy.
It’s a constant struggle in this old brain of mine. Ms. Structure on the right telling Ms. Loosey Goosey on the left that she’s wrong and not doing anything right. And that kids need structure and “how on earth are they going to learn to read or do calculus if you don’t teach them now???” And Ms. Loosey Goosey on the left telling Ms. Structure that she’s killing creativity. That kids need time and space to learn on their own and figure things out for themselves. That we’re just here to guide them along the path. That if you try to force reading (or anything) that they’re going to hate learning (and you) FOREVER.
And then Ms. Perfectionist is telling both of them that they’re stupid and this whole thing is a joke and “how on earth could you possibly think you could homeschool??? Put them in school if you don’t want your kids to fail and have horrible lives. You’re too unorganized. Messy. You have too much on your plate. You don’t know what you’re doing. You didn’t pick the perfect curricula. You’re going to fail. They’re going to fail. They’re going to be failures. Just like you.”
Holy crap. I’m insane.
So, you see… it’s a constant second guessing struggle in my head as I’m trying to figure this whole thing out. I’m working on just going with the flow right now to see where we end up. To find a balance between Ms. Structure and Ms. Loosey Goosey. And to get Ms. Perfectionist to shut up and go away. If only there was an off switch for perfectionism.